2.2 What is subtle about social interaction?  (Page 22/26)

Some of the qualities measured were views of competence, affect orientation, aggressiveness, self-acceptance, and apprehension about communication. Being "competent" in communication would seem to be rather simple, if someone has an idea or thought then they can simply express it, there might be some things getting in the way of that like self-acceptance, apprehension, assertiveness, and having a positive or negative affect orientation. If you have negative affect, expressing an idea you have could become complicated because you would then be unsure if you are going to have a positive response. Communication then becomes a social thing, it isn't about the ability to express yourself, it is about you being nervous because of the social situation, which would then effect your ability to communicate.

How do you relate and compare what is going on socially to what is being communicated? In some situations there is little going on emotionally and it is just a straightforward conversation, like in a debate or formal conversation. In other situations there are a lot of emotional, social variables that complicate the situation and what is going to be communicated like at a party. There are a lot of circumstances that can vary greatly at a party that would effect what types of communication occur. A lot of social subtleties and complications. At a formal debate, or a business conversation, there might not be so many complications. The purpose there is clear and what needs to be communicated is simple, there aren't a lot of emotional factors that are going to influence what you say, it is just about business and you have simple, clear objectives (unlike in most social situations where the emotional, psychological factors of the situation can complicate what is going on). In a social situation you could potentially raise any topic for communication, you have to pick the right thing to say out of an endless option of choices (in addition, you have to factor in the people there and each of their complex psychological makeups). In a business interaction you only have a few options based on the business objective in the situation, and what type of person you are talking to isn't as complicated or as much of a factor. I'm not saying all business interchanges are simple, I'm just using it as an example to show how much easier interaction is when you know what needs to be said and you don't necessarily have to pick the exact right thing (or "entertaining" thing) from an endless number of options of things to say.

One of the goals of communication is to seek affinity, but how do people do this in an interaction? Do people pay close attention to the other person, show sensitivity, be responsive, or include them in their social activities? A study was done by (Richmond Richmond, V., Gorham, J, and Furio, B (1987) Affinity-Seeking Communication in Collegiate Female-Male Relationships, Communication Quarterly, Vol 35, No. 4. Fall 1987, Pages 334-348. et all) titled, "Affinity-Seeking Communication in Collegiate Female-Male Relationships" - here are two of the concluding paragraphs: