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In general, the research on control, dominance, and conflict reveals the necessity of a shared vision of the way a relationship is enacted. Partners negotiate the range of relational issues, including who has the right to exert influence, who may control relational resources, what goals and outcomes are preferred, and how conflicts or disagreements may be managed.
The chapter began describing basic factors of interpersonal interaction and everyone's desire for individuality and social visibility; next it discussed character traits; how emotion is communicated in an interaction; various definitions of types of social behavior such as neuroticsm, attachment, social anxiety, gender identity, shyness, embarrassment, and shame; sources of aggression, altruism, assertiveness and attraction; goffman's theory of self-presentation, which outlined how he thinks people are like actors on a stage, consciously and deliberately making their actions and behavior tailored for certain recipients; the theory of the looking-glass self, which demonstracted how there is a deeper inner reflection in any conversation of yourself, your life experience, your feelings, your qualities, and the other persons as well; Maslow outlined various major and basic needs people have such as physiological, safety, love and belonginness, esteem, and self-actualization; in addition to Maslows needs there were various peripheral variables that affect the social process of dependency, abasement, approval, authoritarianism, order, affiliation, machiavellianism, dominance, nurturance, achievement and recognition; there was Erikson's psychosocial crisis, which were qualities that people seek to achieve their major needs from (Malsow) - the qualities were trust, autonomy, initiative, industry, identity, intimacy, generativity and integrity. I then showed the simplicity of social information by summarizing a lot of its content - by saying how that there are tones and subtleties to situations that contribute to the mood present, these are created by the thoughts, attitudes, motivations, feelings, personal characteristcs, other circumstantials factors (the environment) and (clearly) the behaviors of the people involved. Then I mentioned that autority, subordinacy, and equality are persistent themes in interpersonal relations. Next I discussed social skills, because at this point it should be obvious that they are important - behavior is goal-directed, interrelated, learned (conscious) or innate, and people can be very competence and composed or not so. Finally, I discussed "mutuality of control" - which shows the factors involved in authority, subordinacy and quality. People have an understanding of how dominant, influential, controling and manipulative each partner is - they can exert control in ways that are adaptive and collaborative or they can manipulate both verbal and nonverbal messages to increase their own control of the interaction.
Message types in communication
- There are greeting and leaving messages "hello" "goodbye" etc.
- There are polite questions, "how was your day", "how are you doing"
- There are compliments, "you look good", "nice to see you" etc
- There are messages of good-will, "have a good day", "wishing you well", "have a good one"
- Some messages can refer to the persons personality attributes or strengths and weaknesses - "he is nice", "man or iron man"...
- People can discuss relationships and how attracted people are to other people - "got his goat"
- Improving life messages - "let's reach higher"
- Positive, negative, and neutral comments
- Messages of doom, or hope - "The Dangerous Age"
- Messages that communicate someones experience
- Messages that talk about what someone did at some time (recently or not)
- Sentimental messages - "Home Is Where The Heart Is"
- Bitter-sweet statements or expressions - "it's ironic"
- Important or significant statements - "the big move"
- There are statements that reflect hurt (or emotion) - "A Woman Scorned"
- There are personality statements as metaphors that can simultaneously communicate occupation (among other things) - "The Wolf Of Wall Street", "Lady Of The House"
- Statements that suggest you do something (related to someone or something) - "Pity The Poor Working Girl"
- Romantic statements or discussions, "Burning Kisses"
- Statements of opinion - "It Shouldn't Happen To A Dog"
Source:
OpenStax, Emotion, cognition, and social interaction - information from psychology and new ideas topics self help. OpenStax CNX. Jul 11, 2016 Download for free at http://legacy.cnx.org/content/col10403/1.71
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