2.13 To understand title, setting, plot  (Page 2/3)

Before the owners of the dead pets arrived Mr Catt changed into a smart dark suit. Dave was dressed in a dark blue overall. On the back was a silver halo. Inside the halo, in gold letters, it said `Pet's Paradise. Heaven on Earth for all Pets'.

Mr Catt said a simple prayer over each grave. He, Dave and the owners sang two verses of `The Lord's My Shepherd'. Then the pet was laid to rest. Finally the bill was settled over a glass of sherry in Mr C's office. It was then that Mr Catt would suggest a suitable epitaph for the headstone, like the one he had written about Tiddles.

After lunch Dave was mowing the lawn in front of the office when Mr Catt called him inside. `How are you liking the job then, Dave?'

`Well ... it's ... er ... different.'

`Do you think you'll be able to survive my awful jokes?'

Dave grinned, `Can I tell you one, Mr C?'

`Why not, Dave! But I bet I've heard it before.'

`When one mouse nearly drowned, how did the other mouse save it?'

`Mouse-to-mouse resuscitation, of course! I think that joke's older than me, Dave.' He looked at his watch. `I've got to go out this afternoon, Dave. Do you think you can manage on your own? There's only one burial. You can do it any time you like. The owner won't be coming.'

Dave wasn't at all happy about being left. `I can dig a grave all right, Mr C. It's the hymns and stuff I'm not sure about.'

Don't worry your head about that, lad. Just say a few suitable words before you lay the poor creature to rest. The coffin's out back, in the shed. I'll be back about five o'clock to lock up.'

Mr Catt left and Dave finished mowing the lawn. When he went into the shed behind the office he found a very, very long thin coffin. Next to it, a neatly written note.

`Dave, this is Mrs Longton's pet boa constrictor, Russell. Bury him by the large oak. Mrs Longton wants him buried in a particular way. She wants him to be pointing to Brazil, where he was born. So make sure the coffin points southwest. There's a compass in the top left-hand drawer in the office. Good luck.

Mr C

PS. What's got four legs and flies?

A dead horse.'

It didn't take Dave long to dig the grave. He peeled off a long thin strip of turf, like a huge caterpillar, and laid it neatly to one side. He dug the grave a metre deep, to be on the safe side. He was about to slide the coffin into the hole when he realized that he didn't know which was the head-end. If he buried Russell the wrong way round he would be pointing North East, towards Lapland. There was only one way to solve the problem. Dave went off to find a screwdriver.

The lid of the coffin was held down by a dozen brass screws. Dave unscrewed them and slid back the lid. Russell was obviously very pleased to see Dave. The huge snake slid rapidly out of the coffin and tried to wrap himself around Dave's left leg.

When Mr Catt returned half an hour later he found Dave sitting in the top of the oak tree and Russell, very much alive, half way up the trunk. `Don't worry Dave. I'll ring Mrs Longton. She'll know what to do. Stay put.'