0.7 Our clubbing list—refused by the complete alphabet of freaks

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A is for Art of this age-end variety;

We Decadants simply can’t get a satiety.

B is for Beardsley , the idol supreme,

Whose drawings are not half so bad as they seem.

C is for Chap-Book , the pater familias

Of magazines started by many a silly ass.

D is for Darn it —it’s awfully shocking

Your Dekel-edge Hosiery, Mistress

Blue stocking.

E is for Editor ; what does it mean?

Everyone now runs his own magazine.

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F is for Freak : see the great exposition

Of freak magazines—6 and 10 cents admission.

G is for Goup : I would much rather be

A nice Purple Cow than a G-O-U-P.

H is for Humbug , attempts to be Horrid!

(See Mlle. New York , she’s decidedly torrid.)

I am an Idiot , awful result

Of reading the rot of the Yellow Book cult

J is for JENSON , the TYPE of the day,

Some people can’t read any other, they say.

K is for Kimball , assistant of Stone;

I wonder how he will get on all alone.

L is for Lark , and the fellows who planned it. Say even they cannot but half understand it!

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M is for Magazines recklessly recent;

I know of but one that is anyway decent.

N stands for Nothing ; I wish it had stood for

A little bit more than the fly-Leaf was good for.

O ’s for Oblivion —ultimate fate

Of most of the magazines published of late

P is for Poster ; the best one, by far,

Is the one that was made for our own P.J.R. (Price 4 bits.)

Q is for Quarrel ; Harte, Hubbard and Taber,

To run the Philistine, each other belabor

R is for Rubbish ; are you looking for some?

Just open the Bauble and put down your thumb.

S is for Stevie Crane , infant precocious,

Who has written some Lines that are simply ferocious.

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T is for Thomas B. Mosher of Maine,

Whose dinkey toy prefaces give me a pain.

U is for Useless and far beneath notice;

But I don’t want to say all of that of the Lotus.

V is for Versification and Verse ;

We thought Chips was bad, but the Olio ’s worse.

W ’s for Woman , whom editors humor;

In the new field of letters, perennial bloomer.

X is for Something Unknown —let us say

How in the world do these magazines pay?

Y is for Young , and I marveled to learn

That fifty’s the average age of Les Jeunes .

Z is for Zounds! what unspeakable deco-

Rativeness Bradley has furnished for Echo .

Anne Southhampton Bliss