<< Chapter < Page Chapter >> Page >

Step one: skim the first seven or eight words.

The introduction of a novel thermal convection cell consisting of half a soap bubble heated at the equator enables the study of thermal convection and the movement of isolated vortices. Development of thermal convection at its equator is noted in the soap bubble, which is subject to stratification.

Step two: identify the main characters

The introduction of a novel thermal convection cell consisting of half a soap bubble heated at the equator enables the study of thermal convection and the movement of isolated vortices. Development of thermal convection at its equator is noted in the soap bubble , which is subject to stratification.

Step three: locate actions involving those characters

The introduction of a novel thermal convection cell consisting of half a soap bubble heated at the equator enables the study of thermal convection and the movement of isolated vortices. Development of thermal convection at its equator is noted in the soap bubble , which is subject to stratification.

Above, the main characters are hard to identify, buried among other nouns and not clearly emphasized as the “doers” of the actions.

Step four: organize your new subjects and verbs so that the actions are expressed in verbs.

Introductionbecomesto introduce

Developmentbecomesto develop

In the published version from which our less elegant example was derived, the main characters appear early and are described by the main verbs:

A novel thermal convection cell consisting of half a soap bubble heated at the equator is introduced to study thermal convection and the movement of isolated vortices. The soap bubble , subject to stratification, develops thermal convection at its equator” (Seychelles, F., et al.).

Naming a problem: nominalizations

Nominalizations are abstract nouns that are derived from either verbs or adjectives.

They often end in suffixes like -tion, -ment, -ence, among others. For example, calculation (from ‘to calculate’), finding (from ‘to find’), and dependent (from ‘to depend’) (Style 36).

Verb<Nominalization Adjective<Nominalization
DISCOVER<Discovery CARELESS<Carelessness
RESIST<Resistance DIFFERENT<Difference
REACT<Reaction PROFICIENT<Proficiency (see Style 36)

Your Turn:

As you read the following example, ask yourself:

  • How quickly are you able to identify characters and actions?
  • What makes it easy or difficult?

“There is disagreement among many experts about the utility of emissions cap-and-trade policies.”

Now notice how much easier it is to understand the sentence when we change the order of the main characters and verbs to read:

Experts [important character/”doer”] disagree [important verb] about whether emissions cap-and-trade policies [second important character] are useful.” [a verb and an adjective replace the nominalization “utility”]

Similarly, observe how it clarifies the sentence when we take a nominalization like:

“Our request [noun/nominalization] is [weaker verb] that you review the data.”

And change it to:

We [subject/character] request [stronger verb] that you review the data.”

The bottom line-writing for the reader

In order to make your sentences clear and easy to understand, align the main character and action with the main subject and verb.

The moral of the story is: Make sure readers get the story! Characters and actions should

occur early in the sentence. Whenever possible, character and action should correspond with subject and verb. Target and eliminate nominalizations to ensure precise, descriptive verbs, and highlight characters and actions to add impact and increase understanding.

Examples taken or adapted from:

  • “Atmospheric science: Jetting away.” Nature, Vol. 453, No. 7191. (1 May 2008): 5-5. doi:10.1038/453005c. Retrieved 5/6/2008 from (External Link)
  • Martel, J. and John D. Young. “From the Cover: Purported Nanobacteria in Human Blood as Calcium Carbonate Nanoparticles.” Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, Vol. 105, No. 14. (8 April 2008): 5549-5554. Retrieved 5/6/2008 from (External Link) .
  • Seychelles, F.,Y Amarouchene, M Bessafi, and H Kellay.“Thermal Convection and Emergence of Isolated Vortices in Soap Bubbles.” Physical Review Letters , Vol.100, No. 14. (2008). Retrieved 5/6/2008 from (External Link)&id=PRLTAO00100000014144501000001&idtype=cvips&gifs=yes
  • Williams, Joseph. Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace. 8th ed. New York: Longman,2005.
  • Williams, Joseph and Colomb, Gregory. The Craft of Argument . Concise Ed. New York: Longman, 2003.

Questions & Answers

what is biology
Hajah Reply
the study of living organisms and their interactions with one another and their environments
AI-Robot
what is biology
Victoria Reply
HOW CAN MAN ORGAN FUNCTION
Alfred Reply
the diagram of the digestive system
Assiatu Reply
allimentary cannel
Ogenrwot
How does twins formed
William Reply
They formed in two ways first when one sperm and one egg are splited by mitosis or two sperm and two eggs join together
Oluwatobi
what is genetics
Josephine Reply
Genetics is the study of heredity
Misack
how does twins formed?
Misack
What is manual
Hassan Reply
discuss biological phenomenon and provide pieces of evidence to show that it was responsible for the formation of eukaryotic organelles
Joseph Reply
what is biology
Yousuf Reply
the study of living organisms and their interactions with one another and their environment.
Wine
discuss the biological phenomenon and provide pieces of evidence to show that it was responsible for the formation of eukaryotic organelles in an essay form
Joseph Reply
what is the blood cells
Shaker Reply
list any five characteristics of the blood cells
Shaker
lack electricity and its more savely than electronic microscope because its naturally by using of light
Abdullahi Reply
advantage of electronic microscope is easily and clearly while disadvantage is dangerous because its electronic. advantage of light microscope is savely and naturally by sun while disadvantage is not easily,means its not sharp and not clear
Abdullahi
cell theory state that every organisms composed of one or more cell,cell is the basic unit of life
Abdullahi
is like gone fail us
DENG
cells is the basic structure and functions of all living things
Ramadan
What is classification
ISCONT Reply
is organisms that are similar into groups called tara
Yamosa
in what situation (s) would be the use of a scanning electron microscope be ideal and why?
Kenna Reply
A scanning electron microscope (SEM) is ideal for situations requiring high-resolution imaging of surfaces. It is commonly used in materials science, biology, and geology to examine the topography and composition of samples at a nanoscale level. SEM is particularly useful for studying fine details,
Hilary
cell is the building block of life.
Condoleezza Reply
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Source:  OpenStax, Three modules on clear writing style: an introduction to the craft of argument, by joseph m. williams and gregory colomb. OpenStax CNX. Jul 17, 2008 Download for free at http://cnx.org/content/col10551/1.1
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