0.1 Writing module one: clear narrative, “characters” and “actions  (Page 2/4)

• lead with a clear subject
• follow immediately with a descriptive verb.

The parts of the sentence that satisfy the reader’s basic needs are strongly positioned to give them the information they need as quickly and concisely as possible. The character, “recent evidence,” and the action, “suggests” appear within the first three words of the first sentence. Similarly, the second sentence begins right away with the character “this large body of research studies,” and follows up immediately with the verb “promotes” to describe the action of those studies. We know the main characters and actions RIGHT AWAY, and we are able to grasp the important subject and activity that the sentence describes without searching around for clues.

Characters and actions- structuring information, managing expectations

In talking about sentences that tell stories, we’ve already begun to realize the importance of two key terms—Character and Action. We understand narrative best when it is easy to identify the important characters and actions (and along with them, the important subject and verb of the sentence). The character is the main subject or “doer” in your sentence.” (Remember: It is not always a person). The action is the thing done. Usually, the action is the verb. All too frequently we bury the most important action in nominalizations. We’ll discuss nominalizations in more detail a little later on. For now, it requires no special terminology to see how, in order to make it easy for readers to understand your writing, you should:

• match important actions to VERBS; and
• make important characters into SIMPLE SUBJECTS (see Style 33).

These crucial alignments often dictate changes in the order in which characters and actions appear in a sentence. Instead of:

“Our loss of funding prevented continuation of the research program.”

We can write:

“Because we lost funding, we could not continue the research program.”

In the first sentence, “loss” and “continuation” are used as nouns instead of describing what the main character does through the more active “we lost” and “we could not continue” (see Style 36).

Choose concrete characters over abstract

Notice how difficult it can be to identify the main characters and actions in an introductory sentence:

Shifts in position in recent decades in three bands of fast-moving wind known as jet streams came from a new analysis of weather data that were collected between 1979 and 2001.

Here, by leading with “Shifts in position,” an author would effectively emphasize “shifts” as the main character of the sentence. Similarly, the verb that modifies “shifts,” “came,” appears as the main action of the statement (see Craft 244). Compare this to the sentence as it actually appeared in publication:

“ Three bands of fast-moving wind — known as jet streams — have shifted position in recent decades, according to a new analysis of weather data that were collected between 1979 and 2001” (“Atmospheric science: Jetting away”).

Notice how the important subjects and verbs a) appear early, and b) occur close to each other (see Craft 244).